Have you ever felt that technology does not work for you? Have you perhaps yelled at it, or maybe physically punched say, your laptop screen, cracking it and also cutting your knuckles on the shattered glass, making you even angrier? It could be described as just bad luck, or maybe that everything that I have ever used that has a power source that I don't understand is out to get me. One thing is for certain: I am technologically retarded.
I would never have been able to be part of this blog if it weren't for A. She helps me with everything from formatting my uni documents (yes, seriously. Just yesterday she introduced me to the idea of 'shift/enter') and backing up my computer to guiding me through the incredibly straighforward realms of Windows Movie Maker in order for me to pass my degree (hopefully, at this stage).
It seems to me that the idea that you don't really pay much attention to something until it starts to fuck up on you is 100% true. This happens to me in a serious way at least once a week. Everything is cool and then: "WHY iview? Why you no play Louis Theraux documentary on cosmetic surgery? Or the latest episode of The Slap? Why you do this to me? It no fair, I kill you for this treachery!"
I have "bad luck" with mobile phones, computers of all sorts, DVDs and even my car radio. It is getting to the point where I am scared to have four or five tabs open on my laptop for fear of it getting intimidated by the workload I expect from it, freaking out and freezing on the spot. It is also daring to have music playing if working on a document at the same time, and I've only had it for a year.
So the first edition of technology and why it can smd is the mobile phone. You have one, I have one, we all have one. If you don't, I feel sorry for you but seriously, get on that shit, you are way behind. I'm sure that we all have some horror story of accidentally dropping your phone in a pot of boiling water, or going kneeboarding with it in your pocket or driving a forklift over it, heck knows I do, but this goes beyond the usual assholery that we put our mobiles through. in varous stated of drunkenness/hungoverness.
I left my relatively new mobile phone in a school playground, overnight, in the rain. It worked ok for a couple of days, but then started to play up, so I took it down to the good ol' guys at My Phone Company to get it fixed. "We will send your phone off to get fixed and you will have it back within 10 working days" they said.
Bullshit.
9 weeks of using a piece of shit replacement phone that ended up being stolen at a Goodwill storeof all places (that is my story and I am sticking to it) and a flobbityjillion annoyed phonecalls later, one of which included some dude telling me that my phone was "beyond repair", my apparently completely rooted phone was finally fucking back in the store. So I went in, and they said "all the parts have been replaced, it should work fine now". I should have smelled a rat, but was too excited to be back amongst the mobile commmunicators of my generation to care about that, or the suspicious replacement SD card that came with my phone.
The SD card had been previously used, and there were some photographs that should not be shared on a public forum such as this, as they included fat people in hawaiian shirts swimming in a pool, some happy holiday snaps of somewhere in Asia and a few pictures of a man cleaning his pool starkers. Many lols were had but I removed them off facebook just in case a naked and red-faced man brandishing a pool scoop came knocking at my door.
So for a few short days, I was happy. But then the phonecall came.
"I'm sorry, there seems to have been a mistake at the store. The phone we gave you does not in fact belong to you. Please return the phone as soon as possible. Your phone should be back in the store within 10 working days." Smd Phone Company. I will hold this phone hostage until you give me my phone back.
So I did.
When I did get my phone back, it had the same problems that existed before I sent it away. But it didn't really matter in the end, because I lost it in a public bathroom within a week.
G
Note: I would also like to take this opportunity to point out the stupidity of some people. When I lost my phone in the bathroom, I needed to report it stolen so that I could get insurance on it. One of the questions that the ladypoliceofficer asked me was, and I quote: "was it an iphone 5?"
Um...no. They don't exist yet.
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