Why technology can smd - part 2

As you may have read, part one of this as yet undecided amount of parts series of why technology can smd was about mobile phones and how they are all out to get my, by doing nothing. It was alluded to in the previous post that i also have computer troubles, mainly my laptop which I am currently working on, and crossing my fingers hoping that it's not going to have a seizure.

So i got this fine piece of technology for Christmas last year, it is not even a year old and I have had a considerable amount of trouble with it already. The biggest pain in my ass was about in the middle of the year, the day before my one exam of the semester. I had decided to start studying, as you do, at about noon. Even though it was an English exam, there is no reason for you not to spend a good two hours writing one page of notes and pretending to note the readings that you paid $20 for but have neglected for the past three months.

I was about an eight of the way through the course when the music stopped. This is always a bad sign. It doesn't stop completely, but sort of has bursts of noise every 4 or so seconds, which you cannot pause, or mute, or even stop by shutting the laptop. The only things you are realistically able to do in a situation such as this are:

a) leave laptop open and go into the kitchen to make yourself a calming sandwich/milo

b) calmly push laptop away from you and proceed to scream into nearest pillow

c) turn off laptop by holding down power button (i hate doing this because it seems like the equivalent of suffocating it...holding your finger over a certain part of it until all life leaves it. Very sad).

But there was a secret option that I was not aware of:

d) swear at laptop, go red in face, jump at suddenly ringing telephone then have conversation with person on other end about how laptop is royally fucked (which the person was ringing about, incidentally) and then proceed to pay unknown person a large sum of money, the exact amount which is not to be disclosed to fix the problem because studying has suddenly become very important indeed and Google is needed because you realise that you did not pay attention during tutes, and did not attend lectures.

I was so sure that I had got a good deal, the money would cover me for 4 years for any computer problem I had and also up to three other computers in the household. The laptop was fixed (for the time being) Google was consulted, the exam was sat and the subject was passed.

Everything was fine for a few weeks, apart from my laptop being retardedly slow, but I have come to learn that that is just how technology acts around me - it reduces its productivity to be directly proportionate to the amount that I understand it - practically nil.

I received a call a few months later saying that there was a problem with my email, but it turns out that that was just a ploy to hack my accounts. Sucks to them though, I don't have any money for anyone to steal.

And I kid you not, the DAY BEFORE MY EXAM this semester the exact fucking thing happened, but this time someone else rung up demanding money in exchange for doing something that anyone at my dear mother's place of work could have done for free. I did not yield again, but hung up instead. In addition to this, the same thing happened the very day that I wrote part one of the 'why technology can smd' saga.

For real.

Don't ask me how they know when my computer fucks itself, but the smarmy scammers have their wily ways and so I need to be content with a laptop that is incredibly temperamental and needs kind words and a gentle touch to coax it into performing the most menial tasks.

Not fair.

Stay tuned for part three - automobiles and related accessories.